Deniero B.

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Deniero's Story

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Welcome to the most detailed record of my life yet. Before we dive into this very long blog post, I want to tell you who it is for and who it is not for. 

If you are looking for direct how-to information to apply to your business, this post is not for you. We have plenty of other actionable posts, and you can click here to check out our latest ones. 

But if you want to know more about me and understand what it takes to do a complete 180° with your habits, mindset, and conditioning, you are in the right place. 

This post is a full excerpt from my book, so if you already have it or are planning to buy it, you will find it there. So, without further ado, let's get into it.

Early Life

Me in grade one. I actually remember taking this photo!

I was born in Rome, Italy, in the mid-eighties to two employees. My mother worked for an insurance company, and my father worked at the airport. They both got their jobs in the late 1970s and worked for their companies for 40 years until they retired around 2018.

My parents were the perfect employees. They were always on time, even though their commutes were brutal. They rarely called in sick, and it was always for a good reason when they did. They booked vacation time months in advance, and they would always make sure that everything was taken care of during their absence.

Growing up, we always had enough money to live a fairly comfortable life. We'd take at least one trip abroad per year (courtesy of my dad's discounted airplane tickets), and we'd eat out at least every couple of weeks.

From a very young age, I was indoctrinated with the whole "go to school and find a good job" narrative. In fact, I was so absorbed by this mentality that I wasn't even aware that there were millions of people making a living with their businesses until I was well into my teenage years. 

And to be honest, I don't even think that it would have mattered if I had found out about it earlier. I had always seen myself as an average guy with fixed abilities, smart enough to get by but stupid enough not to stand out in class or work.

The only activities I was decent at were track and field and hurtles. But again, I just thought that I was good because I was tall and slim. It never crossed my mind that it was because of my hard work and dedication.

In fact, when I was 14 years old, a new guy joined my team, and he was a whole inch taller than me. Within a couple of months, he won all the races leaving me with three silver medals and a whole lot of anger inside. That's when I convinced myself that I was destined to be forever a number two, the main character's sidekick at best.

Life felt so dull from that point on. If my skills were fixed and I had already reached my peak, I had nothing to look forward to.

BOTTOM LINE:

I had always seen myself as an average guy with fixed abilities, smart enough to get by but stupid enough not to stand out in class or work. I was so absorbed by this mentality that I wasn't aware that there were millions of people making a living with their businesses until I was well into my teenage years.

My teenage years

There I was, a lanky teenager with glasses and severe acne trying his best to blend in with the crowd for fear of getting noticed by strangers. I could barely imagine myself getting a real job, let alone starting a business and making a real difference in the world.

As an only child, I began leaning on my friends more and more. If I wasn't out with my crew, I was on the phone with them.

I remember that feeling of safety that came with knowing that I was not alone in my discomfort. We were all in the same boat. We were all awkward teenage kids trying to fill that void one way or another.

By the time I was 16, I was spending more time on the streets than at school. I started hanging out with the wrong crowd, and I had created a sort of alter-ego. I grew a very tall mohawk, got a few piercings, and started listening to hardcore punk.

My bass guitar and I.

At 16, I also received a used bass guitar as a present, and I even tried to form a band. But by the end of that summer, after practicing less than five times, my buddies and I quit because "we sucked at making music."

My fixed mindset convinced me that the only thing I was good at was hanging out with friends, smoking, and drinking. So I doubled down on that.

The only thing that kept me from going to the point of no return was my love for my family. Bless them! They had always been there for me, but the pain of feeling helpless was too real, so I had no choice but to act out.

BOTTOM LINE:

As an only child, I could barely imagine myself getting a real job, let alone starting a business and making a real difference in the world. I grew a very tall mohawk, got a few piercings, and started listening to hardcore punk.

The move 

By the end of high school, I had come to a crossroads. I either stayed in my neighborhood and went from a dysfunctional teenager to a broken adult or turned page entirely and started from scratch.

A clean slate sounded more promising, so I decided to pack my bags and move overseas to Toronto, Canada, where I had some family.

The last 30 days in Italy felt way too long and drawn out. I was an emotional mess. I was hyper excited to start my new journey, but I also didn't want to leave my family and friends behind.

Especially my best friend Enrico, who had recently been diagnosed with melanoma and was spending most of his days between the hospital and home.

He and I met when we were seven years old and were inseparable for all of those years. 

I spent my last night in Rome with him at his house. We looked at old photos; we talked about future plans and wished that things were different. He wanted to join the navy, and I wanted to pursue a career in music.

We smoked a cigarette on his patio, then I grabbed my jacket and my camera, got his mother to snap a photo of us, and walked out towards my car. Then I turned around and waved goodbye from afar. I had a plane to catch early in the morning.

I couldn't believe it. I had packed all my belongings in two suitcases, and I was flying over the Atlantic to start my brand new life. My father was born and raised in Canada, so I had been there a couple of times before. But this time, it was for good.

During the nine-hour flight, I started planning all the things I wanted to see and do in the first few weeks. I knew I needed to get a job to keep busy and look for a potential music college.

That was the first time I witnessed the power of changing environments first-hand. Just a few days before, I felt hopeless and stagnant, and now I was exploding with new ideas and positive energy.

Sure, that was not the ultimate turning point in my life. After that, I had quite a few ups and downs, but that experience acted as a seed. It stayed dormant for an entire decade until I had my rock bottom experience, and then it sprung back into existence to show me what I wanted from life: to travel the world and make a difference while doing that.

When I finally landed, my uncle picked me up, and as soon as I got out of the airport sliding doors, I took a deep breath and coughed hard. It was December in Canada, and it was -20 C (-4 Fahrenheit for my American friends). I had never felt this cold before, but it didn't matter to me. I felt alive. We drove down the large highway towards the city. I was staring at the tall buildings of Toronto's skyline with a huge smile on my face.

The first months in Canada were bitter-sweet. Within the first week, I had already made friends with over 15 English students from Germany, Mexico, Colombia, Chile, Korea, and France. And with them, I explored every nook and cranny of the city, from bars and clubs to markets and museums. 

But on January 20th, seven weeks after I had left Italy, my best friend Enrico passed away back in Rome. I found out about the horrible news early in the morning, and I was out of commission for a while. I couldn't fly back in time for the funeral, so I locked myself up in my room for a few days to try to make sense of it all. 

After about a week, I finally picked up all my broken pieces and got back on my feet. I went straight to a tattoo parlor and got a ship wheel tattooed on my back. Enrico wanted to join the navy, and the only reason he wasn't able was that he got sick. 

I had no excuses now. I was young and healthy, and I would live my life to the fullest for him and me. That was a big turning point. It was as if all the fears that dictated my choices up to that moment had disappeared. 

The fear of being judged by strangers was gone.

The fear of not being good enough started to dissolve too. 

All I had left was a long bucket list and one short life to make it all happen.

BOTTOM LINE:

I was hyper excited to start my new journey, but I also didn't want to leave my family and friends behind. My father was born and raised in Canada, so I had been there a couple of times before. But this time, it was for good. Within the first week, I had already made friends with over 15 English students from Germany, Mexico, Colombia, Chile, Korea, and France. On January 20th, my best friend Enrico passed away back in Italy.

My 20's

I eventually ditched the music school path, signed up for business school, and started my college journey, which consisted of long study sessions, house parties, club nights, and a whole lot of blackouts.

At times, it felt like I was in Italy all over again, with the only difference being that I was showing up for my passions and getting work done this time.

At college, I ran for director of campus life and won the elections. I now had to organize events for 25 thousand students, and that year I ended up hanging out with Lil Jon, The Fugees, LMFAO, and many other artists.

After that, I decided to pick up music again, and I started producing electronic music with my friend Greg. We worked hard at our craft, and we started seeing quite a few results.

The following year, my good friend Cody, a club promoter, wanted to create an online house music community for Toronto, and since he and I used to host parties at my place, I helped him launch it. The Facebook group grew to 70,000 people within months, and because of it, Greg and I got to play all over the city.

Djing in Toronto

Eventually, I fell out of love with the scene, and I stopped making music and organizing parties, but those formative years taught me some of the greatest life lessons. 

I could make a living doing what I loved. I just needed to find out my true calling now.

After I finished my degree, I started working as an inside sales rep for a startup in Toronto. I loved the energy and the culture of the tech world, and the free meals and transportation that we got as benefits made the deal even sweeter.

But since I was in it for the money, when another sales opportunity popped up, this time with better pay and commission, I immediately resigned and started my new job selling Pay Per Click ads.

The large sales floor with 150 people felt like a high school cafeteria. We had teams of 15 reps, and everyone knew each other. At lunch, people would mingle in groups, play foosball, pool or go for a walk around the block. Most of us were starting our careers, but we were already feeling burned out due to long hours in the office (12 or more) and poor eating and sleeping habits. 

I wouldn't say I loved the job, but I made some great friends and learned a few valuable lessons, the most important being deliberate practice. We'd spend hours every week mastering our script, from training our tone and inflection to closing deals on the spot. Each week we'd listen to our calls, and we'd pick apart a specific area that needed work. Nothing was left to chance. If something were not perfect, we'd isolate it and practice it until we mastered it. 

To this day, I use the same sales training technique in my coaching programs and with my sales rep at The Remote CEO.

After about five years in inside sales, I was ripe with experience but still broke and unmotivated, and worst of all, I had no idea why. I was putting in the hours, but it was as if I had reached the ceiling. So I asked to change departments, and that's when I started my digital marketing career. 

I went from cold calling and running sales presentations to taking care of 25 Shopify and Facebook ads accounts. I could see the similarities between being a music producer and an internet marketer. They both required me to use deep focus and master software. So, although this was not a commission role, I immediately felt excited and challenged again.

But that didn't last long. One short year after making the switch, the company underwent a significant shift in focus and let go of about 1500 people, including myself.

I had no idea it was coming, so I felt betrayed and lost at first, but it didn't take long for me to realize that I finally had the skills to go on my own.

Now that I got forced off the hamster wheel, I had a lot more time to sit at home and think. And it was during one of those thinking sessions that it all finally clicked: my income didn't increase over time because I was chasing money instead of providing value.

When I was working in sales, I had no interest in being of service to people. All I had in mind was my commission check. So, I would lose focus and slow down any time I had a bad day.

But now, things were different; I was finally confident that I could change lives with my work.

BOTTOM LINE:

At college, I ran for director of campus life and won the elections. I hung out with Lil Jon, The Fugees, LMFAO, and many other artists. After graduation, I worked as an inside sales rep for a tech start-up in Toronto. When I was working in sales, I had no interest in being of service to people. So, I would lose focus and slow down any time I had a bad day. But now, things were different; I was confident that I could change lives with my work.

Late 20's, early 30's, and entrepreneurship

I immediately started working on the creative side of the business before closing deals. I spent days looking for a good logo and name, but once it was all set, I made a few phone calls and ended up closing my first two clients. 

I could not believe it! I was making money working from home. It wasn't much, but it was enough to pay my bills and buy myself more time to get additional work.

I was jumping up and down in my living room like a maniac screaming: "no more commutes! No more useless meetings, no more full days out of the house! I am set!"

But I was only half right. Sure, I never sat in traffic during rush hours from that day on, but I was far from being set.

Weeks went by, and I still hadn't closed more deals, my initial excitement started to fade slowly, and it left behind a trail of fear and second thoughts.

"Why would people choose to work with me instead of a big reputable agency?"

"Could the problem be that I am charging too much for my services?"

My doubts kept on piling up, and soon I started acting with a scarcity mindset. I sounded desperate on the phone, and while the desperation made me call more people, I started selling more labor-intensive services for less money.

How labor-intensive, you ask? Let's have a quick look.

Content creation (30 monthly Instagram posts), Google Ads management, Facebook Ads management, e-com store upkeep and management, and graphic design for... $499 a month

It didn't take long until I hit my first $10,000 month, but at what cost?

I worked 16 hours a day, and I had little to no margins to hire outside help. When I did try to hire a VA, I had no time to train them or manage them, so I'd end up re-doing the work myself.

In the next couple of months, I had started a cycle of late nights and large coffees to keep the ball rolling, and it wasn't long until I ended up at the hospital for panic attacks and caffeine overdose.

The doctor made it clear: I needed time to reset my body and mind. I had to take a 6-week break to get back on my feet, and when I got back, I had lost 75% of my clients.

But like any obstacle, this too came with a couple of lessons that shaped my life and business:

  1. Do not trade your time for money... unless you are getting paid a ridiculous amount for it.

  2. Building a reputation in your niche is the key to commanding higher prices and closing better clients.

These lessons were not obvious at the beginning, though. I first had to watch my clients cancel one by one while I was sick at home. I had to go through the pain of seeing the fruits of my hard work vanish right before my eyes.

So, between a nap and my next dose of meds, I started to soak up as much content about reputation building, remote team building, and high ticket sales.

In a matter of days, I had created a plan to overcome all the issues that forced me to retreat on my first try.

To build my brand, I started a podcast to talk about the struggles and the success stories of solopreneurs like myself. I already had podcasting experience from when I was a DJ, so it made the most sense. 

I also started an Instagram personal brand page where I shared my favorite non-fiction books and more business and personal growth content. 

To charge more and be confident, I also planned on collecting as much social proof for my agency as possible.

To work less, I needed to learn how to build and manage a remote team and double down on my Amazon FBA business to increase my passive income.

BOTTOM LINE:

I worked 16 hours a day, and I had little margins to hire outside help. After losing 75% of my clients, I had to take a 6-week break to get back on my feet. In a matter of days, I created a plan to overcome all the issues that forced me to retreat on my first try. Building a reputation in your niche is the key to commanding higher prices and closing better clients. To charge more and be confident, I planned on collecting as much social proof for my agency as possible.

The breakthrough

A couple of months after I started podcasting, I got introduced to a booking agent that got me to interview many seven, eight, and nine-figure entrepreneurs. 

I could not believe it! I finally had a great strategy to get back on my feet, and now I was even going to pick the brains of tons of highly successful entrepreneurs.

Every time I had a new interview lined up, I would research my guest to get the most out of our time. I left nothing to chance.

My interviews taught me the most critical business and life lessons: from team building and sales to habit formation and routines.

When writing this, my podcast has over 540 episodes; my business employs between 15 and 20 remote team members, and I don't work more than 20 hours a week. 

We've been working remotely and except during the COVID lockdowns, we've worked everywhere: from sailboats, beaches, and mountains to the Greek islands and almost every region in Italy.

A year ago, my wife and I had our beautiful daughter, and I decided to work only three days a week. As a result, Brianne and I can spend virtually unlimited time with our baby, which means the world to us.

My mentors used to say, "don't give up; you don't know how close you are to your goal," but I didn't understand that truth until I got there myself.

Just a few months before, I was in a hospital bed, ready to call it quits, but a voice inside reminded me that there was no more turning back. Instead, it forced me to keep working. In fact, all I needed was to learn a few more lessons.

The first was about brand reputation. Building my brand was not easy, but it was the single most crucial factor that allowed me to charge more for my services. That allowed me to pay for quality employees. And that great team, in turn, helped me build a stronger company.

But building a solid business is not only about hiring the right people. A team is a group of employees interacting with each other, so if you want to build a strong team, you need to learn how to manage people to get the best out of them.

Then, if you want to have a business that truly runs without you, you need to master your tools and automate as many processes as you can. It may be time-consuming initially, but as soon as you set it all up, these systems can make the difference between running a life-vampire business and a lifestyle one.

See, every tweak that I make in my business may take from a few hours to a few weeks to implement. It may be something as simple as changing copy on our booking page to increase the conversion rate or something as big as recording a new webinar or course. But once these tweaks get implemented, they improve our results little by little, and they compound over time. 

Sure, in the beginning, you may only increase your sales by 10% or save 5 minutes a week, but if you keep on building upon the systems you have, it won't be long until your business scales while you are enjoying a week away with your family.

After years of working remotely, I know one thing for sure, I wouldn't trade this path for anything else in the world.

I love taking off and exploring the world whenever I want. I love spending unlimited time with my family and not having to justify myself for wanting to do so. 

Brianne and I in Greece

BOTTOM LINE:

When writing this, my podcast has over 540 episodes; my business employs between 15 and 20 remote team members. I don't work more than 20 hours a week. As a result, Brianne and I can spend virtually unlimited time with our baby, which means the world to us. After years of working remotely, I wouldn't trade this path for anything else in the world. Every tweak I make in my business may take from a few hours to a few weeks to implement. But once these tweaks get implemented, they improve little by little, and they compound over time.

Last thoughts

I hope that this post gave you an understanding of how long it takes people to change. If you have been at it for just a couple of years and you feel discouraged or sad, think about my journey. It takes years to unlearn a lifetime of bad conditioning. And that's just to unravel your personality and mindset! Then, once you do that, it's time to use that new focus and drive to grow your business.

If you are ready to take your lifestyle business to the next level, click here and shoot us a message. My team or I will reach out to give you an actionable strategy and show you how we can help you speed up your way to success.

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